{"id":2482,"date":"2023-04-19T18:14:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-19T18:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.wpenginepowered.com\/?p=2482"},"modified":"2023-04-23T23:53:38","modified_gmt":"2023-04-23T23:53:38","slug":"how-to-be-a-transformational-mentor-understanding-whats-below-the-tip-of-the-iceberg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/?p=2482","title":{"rendered":"How to be a Transformational Mentor; Understanding What\u2019s Below the \u201cTip of the Iceberg\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<style>\/*! elementor - v3.12.1 - 02-04-2023 *\/<br \/>\n.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}<\/style>\n<h2>How to be a Transformational Mentor; Understanding What\u2019s Below the \u201cTip of the Iceberg\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>Icebergs show only the tip of the massive amount of ice they contain. Like the iceberg, we only see what\u2019s visible and that\u2019s a tiny piece of what determines humans\u2019 behavior.<\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s visible is BEHAVIOR.<\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s not visible are beliefs, values, past history, perceptions, attitudes, and values that drive behavior.<\/p>\n<p>A Transformational Mentor understands this and seeks to learn what\u2019s \u201cbeneath the surface\u201d. Indeed, you cannot help transform clients\u2019 lives until you can \u201csee\u201d what\u2019s not visible.<\/p>\n<p>To help our mentees create positive change in their lives we must learn how they process \u2013 mentally and emotionally \u2013 information (which comes in a variety of ways) that comes to them from outside their bodies.<\/p>\n<p>We must also help them process information that comes from their own ideas.<\/p>\n<p>Never underestimate the levels of understanding and the sensitivity and the knowledge great Transformation Mentors must have to be highly effective in their (what I think is a sacred) position.<\/p>\n<p>Never take being a Mentor as anything but a precious responsibility that you should take very seriously.<\/p>\n<p>Another person is giving you their time and money and sharing with you their most private thoughts and dreams. Always receive those things as precious gifts to be guarded well and carefully taken care of.<\/p>\n<p>First and foremost you should teach them the principle of CHOICE. For that is their \u201cSuper Power\u201d. Teach them that they have the ability to choose their thoughts, words, and actions no matter what is happening around them and no matter who is trying to take them down.<\/p>\n<p>Teach them to run everything through the test of, \u201cIs this in my control or out of my control?\u201d If something that\u2019s broken is within their control, teach them how to fix it. If it is out of their control, teach them how to let it go.<\/p>\n<p>Everything that happens to them \u2013 every external event \u2013 they\u2019ll internally process and simultaneously create an internal emotional state (happy; sad; fearful; etc.). Teach them to be very aware of this process and how they\u2019re handling it by consciously directing their thoughts to be in alignment with their beliefs of how they SHOULD be thinking\/speaking\/acting. Awareness is the first step; then directing thoughts in positive directions; then taking actions that keep you on the path to excellence.<\/p>\n<p>Any given state of \u201cbeing\u201d (mentioned above) is the result of the combination of our internal dialogue \u2013 our stories, our beliefs, our past \u2013 AND our physiology at the moment \u2013 the state of our body (healthy\/ill\/uncomfortable, etc.).<\/p>\n<p>Transformational Mentors are extremely sensitive to the level of their mentee\u2019s physical wellbeing and always take their client\u2019s level of health (at any given moment) into the \u201cmix\u201d of their that client\u2019s reactions\/moods\/body language, etc. Again, great mentors see the invisible. That\u2019s part of what makes them great.<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Factors that also come into play with Transformational Mentors are the five main sensory inputs\u2026<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ol>\n<li>Sight \u2013 what they see or the way people look at them, etc.<\/li>\n<li>Sound \u2013 what they hear and they way people speak to them.<\/li>\n<li>Touch \u2013 the touch of someone or something; the way they touch others.<\/li>\n<li>Smell \u2013 the smells that trigger behavior, etc.<\/li>\n<li>Taste \u2013 the way things taste; food drivers, etc.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Think about these sensory inputs as you mentor; they\u2019re part of the \u201cbelow the surface\u201d pieces that are usually invisible but very important tools you can use to help you as a mentor.<\/p>\n<h4><strong><em>More Foundational Pieces of Transformational Mentoring\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n<ol>\n<li>Connect with your clients heart-to-heart from the very beginning.<\/li>\n<li>Use positive reinforcement continuously.<\/li>\n<li>Keep your mentee\u2019s responsible for their choices; flick back to that if they begin to blame and play the victim. Don\u2019t allow them to go there.<\/li>\n<li>Listen very, very carefully. Be fully present with them 100% of the time.<\/li>\n<li>Separate their value from their performance and help them learn how to do that. (No matter how well or poorly they execute tasks, etc. their value never changes \u2013 in their eyes \u2013 in your eyes.)<\/li>\n<li>Focus on their next steps. Baby steps are applauded as enthusiastically as giant leaps.<\/li>\n<li>Continually bring them back to remembering that they can only work on what they can control; they cannot control others \u2013 ever \u2013 nor should they want to.<\/li>\n<li>Measure their progress. Frequently share their progress with them. Always take notes that measure their progress so you can come right back to \u201cwhere they were\u201d at the previous session with you.<\/li>\n<li>Connect&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to be a Transformational Mentor; Understanding What\u2019s Below the \u201cTip of the Iceberg\u201d Icebergs show only the tip of the massive amount of ice they contain. Like the iceberg, we only see what\u2019s visible and that\u2019s a tiny piece of what determines humans\u2019 behavior. What\u2019s visible is BEHAVIOR. What\u2019s not visible are beliefs, values, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2512,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2482"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2482\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2512"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}