{"id":3338,"date":"2023-05-23T00:40:16","date_gmt":"2023-05-23T06:40:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.wpenginepowered.com\/?p=3338"},"modified":"2023-05-23T00:40:39","modified_gmt":"2023-05-23T06:40:39","slug":"on-self-transformation-how-to-unplug-the-power-of-toxic-personalities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/?p=3338","title":{"rendered":"On Self-Transformation: How to Unplug the Power of Toxic Personalities"},"content":{"rendered":"

On Self-Transformation: How to Unplug the Power of Toxic Personalities<\/h2>\n

Let\u2019s talk about the \u201chuman porcupines\u201d in our lives. These are people with toxic personalities who challenge us on many fronts. Some are co-workers; some are relatives. How do you deal with these folks?<\/p>\n

First, let\u2019s define their common characteristics. They:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Are critical, judgmental.<\/li>\n
  2. Have high, unrealistic expectations; perfectionists.<\/li>\n
  3. Manipulate others by guilt, ridicule.<\/li>\n
  4. Are easily offended.<\/li>\n
  5. Send the message to others that, \u201cI am unhappy. If you would do this \u2018certain thing\u2019 or behave in this \u2018certain way\u2019 then I won\u2019t be unhappy.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    How do you unplug the power of the difficult-to-love people in your life? Three ways:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Let go of the expectation to please them. It isn\u2019t possible to change toxic people, they can only change themselves. Your primary goal should be to develop a healthy self-concept and become your best self. Focus on that \u2013 not on the Toxic One.<\/li>\n
    2. Assert your right to be treated with respect. Say: \u201cI won\u2019t tolerate disrespect. If you can talk to me kindly, I\u2019ll listen. Otherwise, write down your concerns and I\u2019ll read them\u2026or we\u2019ll wait until you\u2019re in control. Until then I\u2019m leaving the room\u2026I\u2019ll return when I\u2019m ready.\u201d It is very important to excuse yourself the moment the behavior becomes unacceptable to you. This is one way you can teach toxic people that you will not be controlled or manipulated.<\/li>\n
    3. Decide what is \u201cenough\u201d to give to the relationship\u2026and explain it clearly. This includes how much time, money, and energy you\u2019re willing to give. It won\u2019t be enough for the toxic person, but it doesn\u2019t matter. It\u2019ll be enough for you.\u00a0Living with your definition of \u201cenough\u201d is a key to coping with the unreasonable demands of toxic people<\/em>.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Written By Dr. Paula Fellingham<\/em><\/strong>,\u00a0Founder of\u00a0<\/em>WIN WIN Women<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      On Self-Transformation: How to Unplug the Power of Toxic Personalities Let\u2019s talk about the \u201chuman porcupines\u201d in our lives. These are people with toxic personalities who challenge us on many fronts. Some are co-workers; some are relatives. How do you deal with these folks? First, let\u2019s define their common characteristics. They: Are critical, judgmental. Have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":64,"featured_media":3339,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[58],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-growth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/64"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3338"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3338\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winwinwomen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}